“I wish you had known Mom when she was younger.”
“If only you could have gotten to know Dad before he had Alzheimer’s.”
As a caregiver or loved one to a person with dementia or Alzheimer’s, have you ever said something like this? Sometimes you may feel as if these conditions have made it difficult to remember special memories. What can you do to keep these memories alive?
One avenue for doing this is creating a memory book — a homemade compilation of photos, stories, and mementos that tell a person’s life history. A memory book can help create a bridge to the past, as well as a connection to the present, for a person living with a cognitive impairment.
Benefits of a Memory Book
While most people enjoy looking through scrapbooks and old photos, a memory book can be especially beneficial for a person living with dementia:
A way to celebrate lasting memories. Often, people with dementia have difficulty recalling recent events but can clearly recall events from many years ago.
A memory book draws on those long-term memories, emphasizing what the person can remember, rather than what they cannot. You may be surprised by the number of long-ago memories that your loved one can still recall clearly.
Recalling favorite memories can help rebuild your loved one’s self-esteem and sense of wellbeing. You, too, may enjoy looking through the book and celebrating your loved one’s life.
A tool for redirecting. Many people with dementia enjoy reminiscing. Caregivers can offer the book as a way of comforting the person while in unfamiliar places (such as a hospital) or for “redirecting” should the person exhibit difficult behavior, such as agitation or aggression.
An activity to share. A memory book is also a conversation-starter. Your loved one may enjoy looking through a memory book with children, grandchildren, or other young visitors.
A resource for caregivers. Professional caregivers can review the memory book too, to learn more about the person. In some cases, that information may help in developing a care plan. Many caregivers find they can connect more easily when they know something about a person’s career, family, and interests.
Instructions For Creating a Memory Book
Memory books are unique to each individual and can be as complex or as simple as you like. Here are some basic steps to help you get started:
Step 1
Gather important mementos such as photographs, documents, postcards, letters, certificates, and other items. If they don’t fit in a book, take photos of them.
Step 2
Try to involve your loved one with dementia in the project as much as he or she is able. Start by asking the person questions that will help bring memories back:
- What are they proud of?
- What does your loved one want other people to know about his or her life?
- What are some favorite memories?
You might be surprised by how much the person can recognize and recall with the right prompting. In many cases, a person with dementia may remember their childhood better than recent times. Things you might ask include:
- Childhood pets
- Family life
- Hobbies
- Friends
- Holidays and special events
If your loved one’s communication abilities are limited, ask family and friends what they admire and like most about the person.
Step 3
Find a way to display or keep the items and notes you’ve collected. A blank scrapbook is one option, as is a photo album with empty pages, or a three-ring binder with clear plastic pockets.
Choose something that will be easy for your loved one to hold and view. You might even consider simply assembling mementos into a “memory box” for your loved one to take out now and then for reminiscing.
How to Organize Your Memory Book
Now that you’ve collected the items for your scrapbook, it’s time to assemble them.
Begin by creating a basic timeline – noting important milestones starting with birth and childhood, and including adulthood, college, military service, marriage, children, and career.
Include memories of your loved one’s parents and siblings in birth order. It’s not necessary to obtain exact dates. Instead, focus on putting together key moments in chronological order.
Choose a few photos and ask your loved one about them: What’s happening here? Where was this photo taken? If your loved one can’t answer specific questions, make a simple statement such as: “Everyone is smiling. This must’ve been a big day,” and allow the person to reflect or add as memory serves.
Make a note of the person’s comments and try to use those words and ideas as much as possible in the book. Invite the person to help choose which items should go into the memory book, too.
If you don’t have photos or other mementos, be creative. A map of a former hometown, or a current photo of an alma mater, can help represent a special memory.
How you organize and assemble the book is up to you. Do involve your loved one as much as he or she is able.
As you work on the book together, he or she may ask why you’re making this book. Explain that you would like to share an enjoyable activity together and find out more about the person. You might also say that the book will be a gift for a child or grandchild to help them learn more about their heritage.
Other Ways to Create a Memory Book
A memory book doesn’t always need to be a physical book. If someone in your family is proficient with a computer, he or she might assemble digital photos - along with favorite music - into a video that your loved one may watch on an iPad or similar device.
Whatever format it takes, a memory book is something that you and your loved one can enjoy repeatedly with family and friends. It will also help caregivers get to know your loved one, and could serve as a tool for calming the person during difficult moments.
Ultimately, the book can become a cherished heirloom that future generations can enjoy.
Find More Activity Ideas For Dementia Caregivers
Keeping your loved one socially engaged, no matter how advanced their dementia, is key for their health and well-being. Try one of the activities here to create quality time with your loved one.
See more activities >>
This blog was originally published September 24, 2015. It has been revised and updated July 15, 2020.
