The following opinion piece by Mark Paretti, Vice President of Resident Experience for The Bristal Assisted Living, was featured in Long Island Business News on March 14th, 2025.
Dementia care too often focuses on managing physical symptoms rather than recognizing the person behind the diagnoses. For Long Island, whose dementia population is currently estimated at some 60,000 people, the issue is far from a statistic.
In partial response, The Alzheimer's Disease Resource Center is holding a day-long program on March 20th at Stony Brook University for those who care for people with dementia. A key challenge is answering the question: what can dementia caregivers, as dedicated as they are, do better?
Dementia is not just a condition - it's a profound shift in how individuals see, understand, and connect with the world around them. The behaviors of those living with dementia should not be dismissed as "problematic" but recognized as meaningful expressions of unmet needs. At senior living communities, professional caregivers are trained to see beyond agitation or withdrawal, understanding these actions as a form of communication. These moments may reflect fear, discomfort, frustration, or other unspoken emotions. This is where empathy and validation become essentials. Whether you're a professional caregiver or a family member, it's vital to look deeper: What are these behaviors trying to tell us? Are they in pain? Feeling isolated? Overwhelmed by their surroundings? By addressing these underlying emotional needs, we can provide the compassionate care they truly deserve.
The critical tool for unlocking dignity in dementia care is validation. Unlike sympathy, which often feels distant or patronizing, validation involves meeting a resident where they are emotionally. It means acknowledging their feelings without judgment or correction. Caregivers must adopt communication strategies, including eye contact, mirroring emotions and rephrasing what residents say. But validation goes beyond words. A soft touch, a calm tone, or even music can help soothe and connect. By offering these emotionally attuned responses, caregivers create an environment of safety and belonging, easing anxiety and providing comfort.
Additionally creating a personalized care plan is essential. To truly meet the needs of each individual, caregivers, must understand their history, preferences, and personality. The key is identifying activities or personal symbols that resonate with the resident, whether it's favorite song, photograph, or a cherished object such as a handbag, baby doll, or baseball. These symbols provide emotional comfort, allowing residents to reconnect with a part of themselves that dementia has obscured.
Personal objects often trigger emotional responses that words cannot. They can offer comfort during moments of confusion, a powerful tool in dementia care. A resident who finds solace in a memento isn't merely clinging to the object. Rather, it offers them a sense of attachment - a piece of their past that is still meaningful.
Too often, caregivers approach dementia as a list of problems to be addressed. But this narrow view neglects the opportunity to connect with the individual. Instead, caregivers should view every behavior as a chance to engage and offer connection. By embracing validation and focusing on the emotional needs of the resident, there is an opportunity to create deeper, more meaningful support.
As the Long Island population continues to age, this challenge will touch literally every family and every business. It will be important to remember that the true goal of dementia care isn't juts symptom management; it's about enhancing the resident's experience and preserving their dignity. It is essential to treat dementia not as a disease to be controlled by as an opportunity to recognize the person behind the diagnosis. By fostering dignity and understanding, caregivers ensure that each individual feels seen, heard, and respected, each and every day.
Mark will be presenting Beyong Words: Uncovering Needs and Building Connections with Validation in Dementia Care at the Alzheimer's Disease Resource Center (ADRC) Education Conference at the Stony Brook University Student Center on Thursday, March 20th.
About Mark Paretti, MA CVW CVGW CVP
Vice President of Resident Experience for The Bristal Assisted Living
Mark Paretti joined Ultimate Care in 2023 as the Vice President of Resident Experience. With a strong focus on optimizing the quality of life for our residents, Mark leads our team in recreational programming, with a special emphasis on providing enriching daily activities for those in our Reflections neighborhood living with Alzheimer’s Disease or Dementia. His role extends to ensuring the quality and consistency of programming across all our communities. Mark is a quality-focused business leader, bringing over two decades of progressive experience from various industries including senior housing management and retail operations. His skill set is broad and impressive, and his active and empathetic listening skills, coupled with his leadership skills, have consistently distinguished him in his field.
In addition to his rich experience, Mark holds a Master of Arts in Law & Governance from Montclair State University and graduated with honors from the University of Phoenix with a Bachelor of Science in Business. He further bolsters his credentials with several certifications, including as a Certified Validation Worker, a Certified Validation Group Worker, an Alzheimer’s Association essentiALZ Certification holder, and a Certified Assisted Living Administrator in New Jersey.
This article originally appeared in Long Island Business News.
