Rooted in decades of experience, these gentle reminders reflect what truly supports caregiving efforts: presence, patience, and the power of small moments.
At The Bristal, we've had the honor of listening, learning, researching, and continuing to evolve our caregiving strategies over 25 years. We've journeyed alongside thousands of residents and their family members, becoming a source of memory care inspiration and guidance for caregivers at every stage -- from first-time caregivers to seasoned professionals.
These reminders come from real-life experience and evidence-based practice. They're meant to be practical and encouraging, intended to help you feel supported and seen. Whether you're providing at-home care or exploring memory care options, we offer these suggestions to offer clarity, comfort, and confidence along the way.
1. You're not alone.
Connecting with others who are walking a similar path can help us a great deal. Reading this article is a great start. We also recommend attending local support groups, including Our Place Memory Café to feel better connected to your community.
2. Routines make excellent co-pilots ...
A predictable schedule helps reduce confusion, builds predictability, and encourages calming interactions. We recommend starting with morning or mealtimes and building from there. Note that someone living with memory loss may naturally find comfort in a routine they followed for years - such as waking later if they once worked night shifts.
3. ... but do your best to operate on their timeline, not your own.
If the person in your care isn't ready to do something, give them space and try again later. Patience often open doors where pressure fails.
Read a few tips for preventing and coping with sundowning.
4. Divide tasks into more manageable subtasks ...
Breaking things down into steps, and celebrating those steps as they're achieved, makes everything feel more doable. Getting dressed, for example, includes many steps -- like choosing a shirt or putting on one sock at a time.
5. ... and cue gently.
Checklists, clocks, voice assistants, and visual aids can help with reminders while helping to preserve dignity and independence.
6. Listen more than you speak ...
When words are hard to find, for you or for them, your quiet presence can still mean a lot.
7. ... and meet them where they are.
Step into their story and validate their experience. Even if what they're saying isn't real to you, it likely feels real to them.
8. Practice a "yes, and" conversation style.
Rather than "no, but," "yes, and..." keep conversations moving in a positive and collaborative direction. It affirms their reality while gently building connection and refocusing.
9. You can't always 'fix' it.
Validate and reassure when fixing a problem isn't possible or feasible. Acknowledging their experience and giving them space to express frustration or anger is valuable, even without a solution.
Read our suggestions for navigating holidays with a loved one living with memory loss.
10. Expect and accept mixed emotions.
Allow yourself to be human. Grief, love, frustration, guilt -- it's okay to feel it all.
11. Look for patterns and repeat what works.
Tracking mood, sleep, and meals can reveal both what causes stress and what helps to ease it.
12. More movement makes the day more manageable.
A short walk, gentle stretches, or quick dance break can help boost energy, relieve fatigue, and release endorphins, for you and the person in your care.
13. Make a list of favorites.
Favorite foods, music, hobbies, sports teams -- positive, tangible preferences can create excellent handholds for conversation.
14. Keep a 'comfort kit' nearby.
Keep a few comforting items close at hand -- a soft blanket, favorite photo, or lotion with a familiar scent can offer a soothing sensory experience quickly.
Explore the Reflections relaxation and sensory spaces at The Bristal communities.
15. Limit choice but keep offering a chance to choose.
Too many choices can be overwhelming for someone living with memory loss, but it's important to continue to offer options to encourage independence and empowerment. Decision-making helps preserve independence and dignity.
16. Label with love.
Post pictures and notes around the house to keep important faces and reminders top-of-mind.
17. Rethink what 'home' means.
If the person in your care is asking to go home, they may be seeking comfort and connection, not necessarily a particular place.
18. Stay curious about what affects them -- what brings joy, what irritates, what soothes.
Curiosity can lead to better understanding and reinvigorate your caregiving efforts.
Learn 7 helpful relaxation techniques for people living with dementia.
19. Plan for the worst-case scenario.
Create a folder with photos, emergency contacts, and favorite places -- it's a helpful reference in case of wandering.
20. Prioritize self-care ...
Be the best caregiver you can be taking at least 10 minutes each day to focus on your own needs.
21. ... and don't hesitate to ask for help.
At its best, caregiving is a team effort.
22. Make mealtime a shared sensory experience.
Prepare meals that are colorful and aromatic, and sit and eat together.
Read a few suggestions for compassionate caregiving strategies for mealtime success.
23. When in doubt, slow down.
A few deep breaths can be the difference between reacting and responding.
24. Celebrate the small stuff.
Even a shared laugh or small task done together is worth noticing.
25. Remember, you are doing better than you think.
Really. Your interest in reading this article is proof that you care about giving your best as a caregiver, and that is really the most important thing.
We're here for you, every step of the way.
